And There She Was

            It was easy to drift off on the subway.

            He would often listen to his music with his headphones on the way back to his apartment, but today, Parker was simply enjoying the silence. Well, silence is a bit of a stretch.

            Ka-thunk, Ka-thunk, Ka-thunk. The subway bumped along down the track. All around him, people spoke to one another. It was a wall of noise, but Parker didn’t hear any of it. He was lost in his thoughts about the day, what would happen tonight, and figuring out the rest of his week schedule-wise. Mixed in with all of that were fantasies. Parker enjoyed the subway rides, as they were some of the few times when he could let his imagination run free. Vivid daydreams, absurdly specific predictions, and abstract ideas circled through his mind.

            Parker looked around the subway car from his window seat. It wasn’t particularly crowded today. Most of the seats were filled, and there were a few people standing, holding onto the rails. Absentmindedly, he turned behind himself and started to survey some of the characters on the train. An old man with a long beard. A tired looking mother with two kids playing on their iPod touches. A heavyset man eating a sandwich. A business man in a suit, talking intensely on the phone. An old woman knitting. A tall and lanky guy ducking so that his head wouldn’t hit the ceiling. Parker turned back to face forward in his seat for a moment. But his curiosity wasn’t quite satisfied yet. So he turned to his left to see who was sitting on the opposite side of the car.

            And there she was.

            Standing in the aisle near his seat holding onto the handrail was a girl. She looked to be around the same age as him, if maybe about a year younger. She wore Converse Chuck Taylor All Star sneakers and slim dark jeans. Above that she wore a loose zip-up hoodie. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail, revealing her pretty and round face. Medium-sized rectangular glasses sat lightly upon her nose. She wasn’t a bombshell beauty; her prettiness was a bit more reserved. Her whole appearance gave off a very relaxed and casual vibe, but showed that she at least cared how she looked, enough to look nice and not sloppy. She had the kind of attraction that didn’t turn heads but if she was noticed, it would, as Parker would say, rope ‘em in.

            Parker was immediately taken with the girl on the subway that he had just seen for the first time.

            He realized he had been looking at her for perhaps just a moment too long and immediately jerked his head forward. Strange as it was, however, he wanted to see her again. He slowly panned around the whole train, planning to linger on her for just a moment. When he got to her, he was surprised to see her looking in his direction. As soon as he looked at her, she turned away, smiling slightly.

            Parker’s eyes opened wide and he turned back forward, smiling to himself. She had seen him! And smiled! He had to think quickly. What next? Could he say hi to her? Talk to her? What could he even say? Was it weird to try to talk to a stranger on a subway?  

            His smile fell. There was no way he had the guts to talk to this girl, even if it somehow wasn’t creepy. He never could. This happened all the time. It wasn’t uncommon for Parker to fall for strangers. It was a loop; every time he would see the girl, fall for her in his head, despite knowing nothing about her, and then move on. It wasn’t really that big of an issue, as he didn’t dwell on these things for too long. But in this moment, Parker wished that, just this once, he might have the courage to try to talk to this girl. He sighed, looking forward, as the train continued zooming through the tunnel.

***

            The subway screeches to a halt at the station. Parker stands up and grabs his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. As he makes his way towards the opening door, he notices the girl also heading for the exit. She makes it off first, and as she walks onto the platform, a small cylinder drops out of her bag. Parker notices this and stares for a moment.

            Chapstick.

            He briefly hesitates before deciding what to do, scoops up the chapstick, and runs up next to her.

            “Excuse me,” he says. “You dropped this.”

            She turns to him, slightly startled. “What?”

            “Your chapstick,” he answers. “I saw it fall out of your purse. I wanted to give it back to you.”

            “My… chapstick?” she asks, smirking.

            “Uh… yeah. Heh.” He hands it to to her and she puts it back into her bag.

            “Well… thanks.”

            “No problem!”

A painfully awkward silence lingers as they head up the stairs to the streets above.

            “Good choice, by the way,” Parker says.

            “What?”

            “Burt’s Bees. Vanilla. That’s a great chapstick.”

            “Oh. Thanks! Yeah, it’s my favorite. I always make sure I have a stick of it in my purse,” she responds.

            “Well then I would say that you have good taste!” he says. Inside, he cringes. What a completely stupid response. How has she not walked away yet?

            “That’s kind of a bold assumption to make about someone you just met and know nothing about, isn’t it?” she asks with a smirk.

            Parker is humiliated. “Oh, uh… yeah… sorry, I’ll just… uh…”

            “Dude,” she says. “I’m totally messing with you. I’m flattered that you think I have good taste. In fact, the fact that you think that I have good taste tells me that you yourself have good taste!”

            Parker is speechless. Did she really just say that? “I… uh… th-thank you…”

            “Look, I don’t usually do this, but here’s my number. Gimmie a call this weekend and we can grab a coffee together. I’d love to explore more of your tastes,” she says, scribbling down her number in pen on the back of his hand. “I’ll talk to you soon!”

            And with that, she turns a corner and disappears into the crowd. Parker stands in disbelief, wondering what just happened. Did that just happen? This isn’t how things work in real life. Girls don’t ask you to get coffee when you pick up their chapstick in a subway station. He hadn’t even really said anything that would cue her to do that. He didn’t even get her name! And yet, there it is; a number scribbled onto the back of his hand.

***

            Parker paces nervously in his apartment, cell phone in hand. “Come on…” he muses to himself. “Just DO it. Call her.” Carefully, he slowly brings his index finger to the bright green circle with the phone on it before quickly tapping it. He jerks up the phone to his ear to hear it ringing.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring. Parker sighs. She’s not gonna answer.

Ring. It was just a fluke, she’s-

“Hello?”

Parker freezes. Holy crap, she answered. He struggles to find his voice but nothing comes out.

“Hello, is anyone there?”

Parker swallows, then coughs. “Hey, yes, hi! Hi! Sorry, hi! It’s me! How are you?”

“Who is this?”

“It’s me, Parker!”

“Parker? Parker who?”

Parker gulps in order to get his stomach back down to his abdomen. He never told her his name. He only got her number. “Uh… Parker! I’m the guy from the subway station with the chapstick, and the-

“Oh, hi, Parker! What’s up?” He hears her snicker. She knew. He relaxes a little.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to maybe get some coffee this Saturday?”

They do, meeting up at a small coffee house. After some casual and awkward conversation, Parker is surprised that they actually hit it off. Things go so well that he eventually asks what’s been bugging him.

            “Hey, so, I’ve been wondering… why did you give me your number, despite the fact that I didn’t really do anything?”

            “Full disclosure?” she answers. “I saw you on the subway and I… I thought you were kinda cute.” She giggles. His cheeks redden. “So when you came and talked to me, and gave me back the chapstick, I took it as a sign and took a leap of faith.”

            “Wow…” he says. “Well, I guess I’d say you stuck the landing!”

            “Yeah, I guess I did.”

***

            A few weeks pass by. They continue to hang out with one another. One night, after seeing a movie, Parker is walking her home.

            “I really liked that,” she tells him. “It had everything you could want in a movie. Fantasy, romance, humor, you could relate to the characters… it was just an all around good film.”

            “Yeah, totally! It was really just kinda… perfect. I dunno. I had fun watching it.”

            They walk up to her front stoop. “Yeah, me too. I actually had a great time in general. This was… good…” she taunts. He looks down to see her looking up at him with her big blue eyes, magnified by her glasses. She flashes a smile at him. “So…”

            He turns down and looks at the sidewalk. “Yes… uh… okay, so… I was thinking. We’ve been hanging out a lot lately. So… is this like… what is happening here, exactly? Like, are we… a coup-”

Before he can finish the question, she pulls him into a kiss, catching him totally off guard. So much that he stumbles. The next thing Parker knows, the two of them are sitting on the ground laughing.

            “So… I guess that’s a yes, then?” He asks amid laughter, while standing and helping her up. In response, she just smiles at him and heads into her apartment, winking before she closes the door. Parker can’t help but have a skip in his step as he walks home after that.

***

Parker’s door bursts open as they come into the apartment and plop down on the couch, exhausted. “Well that was something,” Parker comments.

“Do you think they liked me?” she anxiously asks him.

“Of course. They’re my parents. I’m happy, they’re happy. They’ve always been that way.”

“Are you sure? I thought your mom was gonna have a heart attack when you told them about the time we went to that party when-”

“Relaaaaax. It’s totally fine. They loved you. I love you.” Her eyebrows shoot up. His do too, as he realizes what he just did. They both look at each other for a moment. Speechless. She blushes.

“You… I… I love you, too,” she whispers.

He turns dark red. “You… you do? You mean it?”

She beams at him. “Yeah. I do. I mean, we’ve been dating for over six months. I really enjoy spending time with you. I just met your parents, I mean, I… I love you.”

Parker wraps his arms around her, pulling her into a kiss. “I love you.” He can’t believe his luck. She’s perfect in every way. She brings out the best in him. He couldn’t be happier.

***

“There’s my graduate! Congratulations!” She jumps up and down as Parker walks up to her in his cap and gown, shrugging. She pulls him into a hug. “I knew you could do it!”

“Thanks, babe. But now comes the hard part.”

“Well you’ve got a job! In the city, even!”

“I know, I’m not… I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about this year that we have to get through.”

“Parker, just because I’ll be in school and you’ll have a real-person job doesn’t mean we’re gonna struggle. It’s just one year.”

“Yeah… you’re right. We’ll… we’ll be fine… right?” He looks at her. He is terrified. This relationship is the best thing that’s happened to him. He doesn’t want to lose it.

She only smiles at him. “Parker, please. Of course.”

***

Parker surprises her that summer with tickets to a show she has been excited to see since it was first announced.

“I can’t believe you got them! How did you do it?”

“Babe, don’t question my methods, just enjoy what I do for you.”

Parker has become much more confident in their relationship. He’s incredibly happy. She is too. After two years, things have never been better.

In order to see the show, they take the subway. Parker pays for the tickets and they board the train together. As they sit, Parker begins to sweat.

“Parker, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I guess I’m just excited to see the show with you is all,” he casually answers. She doesn’t suspect the real reason for his nervousness.

As the train slides to a stop, they get out and begin to cross the platform. Parker allows her to be a few feet in front of him. She absently notices that they are currently in the same station in which they met.

“Oh, hey, you dropped your chapstick,” she hears him say from a few feet behind. She turns to see him, down on one knee with a ring. “Will you marry me?” he asks.

“Of course I will, Parker!” she shouts. He sweeps her into his arms and they share a passionate kiss in the middle of the platform. Seeing what happened, people all around applaud. They don’t hear the wall of sound, though. They’re wrapped up in their own world, telling each other how great their love is.

***

Parker anxiously waits at the altar. After what seems like an eternity, the music finally kicks in. He turns and looks to the back of the church.

And there she is.

She looks stunning. Wonderful. Perfect. Against all odds, Parker is getting married to the woman of his dreams.

A million thoughts flood through his head as she walks down the aisle. Time slows down. How did they get here? How did a girl so perfect fall for… him? How is she getting married to him? How did things turn out so well?

She arrives at the altar and he pulls up her veil. It all happens so quickly, and Parker barely even hears the priest. He almost misses the part where he gets to kiss the bride. And before he knows it, Parker is a married man.

***

            One morning, about a month after the honeymoon, she wakes with a start and rushes into the bathroom. Parker rubs his eyes and limps out of bed, over to the bathroom door.

            “Honey?” he asks. “Is everything okay?” He receives no answer at first, aside from the sound of her losing last night’s dinner. “Oh… dear…” he mumbles to himself before sitting on the bed.

            A few minutes later, she opens the bathroom door and walks out, wiping off her mouth. “I’m fine,” she assures him.

            “I don’t buy it,” answers Parker, standing up. “This is like, four days in a row. If it were just a stomach virus, it’d be gone by now.”

            “Parker, I-” He puts his hands on her shoulders.

            “Go see the doctor today.”

            “I’m fine! It’s just-”

            “Please.”

            She looks at him for a moment. He looks right back into her eyes. He is full of worry and care, and she can tell.

            “Okay. I’ll call and make an appointment.”

            Parker sighs in relief. “Thank you. In the meantime, just relax. I’m gonna get you some water, but then I gotta get ready for work.”

            She smiles. “Thanks, babe. I really appreciate how much you care.”

            “Of course! I love you. I just want what’s best for you!” He pulls her close into a tight embrace.

             “I know, Parker. I know.”

***

She nervously paces in the living room, waiting for Parker to return home. When he does arrive, he’s surprised to see her waiting for him.

“Hey, honey, did you go see the doctor today?”

“Yes. Um… I did…”

“And? Are you feeling any better?”

“Well, I-”

“Are there any prescriptions you need me to pick up for you? Cause I was gonna run to the pharmacy to-” He notices her hand is on his shoulder.

“Parker…”

“What’s up? What did the doctor say?”

“…He told me I’m pregnant.”

Parker freezes. He looks up and down at his wife, expressionless. “You’re… pregnant?”

“Mmmhmm…” she forces a nervous smile.

Parker immediately embraces her and starts crying. “I’m so happy! Let’s do this together, babe! We’re gonna have a baby!” The two of them cry tears of joy as they embrace. They are unbelievably happy together.

***

“It’s a boy!”

Parker prevents himself from screaming too loudly into the phone to his mother. But he can hardly contain his excitement. He’s a new parent, after all!

After the excitement dies down, she and he are alone in the hospital room with their new son. “Honey,” he says. “We made this.”

“Oh, good Lord, Parker. Could you be more cliché? How many movies did you watch before you came up with that one?” she teases him. He laughs.

“I’m excited, okay? You know I get cliché-ey when exciting things happen!”

“And you know I love that about you.”

They smile at each other. Parker looks at his son. They have a baby. A perfect, newborn baby. They are a family.

They have a daughter about a year and a half after that. With two kids, they move out of the city and into the suburbs. They get a nice small house with a front lawn.

Parker’s parents had always told him that the years would start to fly by. Now that he has kids of his own, he sees how right they were. Before he knows it, their kids are going into high school, and they have been married for fifteen years.

***

Parker sits at the kitchen table, anxiously waiting for her to return home. She arrives a few minutes later.

“How’d it go?” he asks.

“I mean, it was fine. He’s a nice boy,” she answers.

“I don’t trust him,” he firmly states.

“Well of course you don’t trust him. He’s the first boy to take our daughter on a date!”

“He just seems… too nice. To me, at least.”

“Well maybe he actually is nice! Is that hard to believe?”

He looks at her in earnest. “Do you think… she likes him because he’s nice?” She looks back at him, reading him. He is nervous. Why is their daughter already going on dates? She was a baby like, a minute ago. She holds his hand.

“At thirteen? No. There’s no way she’s going on a date at thirteen because he’s nice. He’s probably more popular or something like that. Parker, this is literally nothing. They’re gonna go and see a movie and then maybe hug on the playground tomorrow, but that will be it. It’s totally normal.”

Parker smiles at her. “You always know what to say. How to make me feel better.” She pulls him to his feet and starts dancing with him.

“It’s because I love you. Now why don’t we have our own little ‘first date’ tonight?”

“But what about-”

“He’s sleeping over his friend’s house tonight. It’s just us for the next few hours.” She smiles at him and he smiles back. They continue to silently waltz around the kitchen together.

***

As the years continue to fly by, they make it a point to continue to have these intimate and romantic nights with each other. The years pass as their kids make it through high school and go off to college. Parker and his wife continue to parent them as much as possible, despite being empty-nesters. Eventually, however, their kids start to form lives of their own.

***

“Mom? Dad? You guys here?” their son asks, coming into their house.

“Of course we’re here, buddy, where else would we be?” Parker calls from the kitchen. Their son heads in, seeing his father making breakfast as his mother sits at the table. “How’re you doing, son? Where’s the wife?”

“Well, dad, that’s why I’m here,” he answers, before calling out the front door. “Okay, honey, you can come in now! Mom, dad, there’s someone I’d like you guys to meet.”

His mother frantically panics for a moment, flipping through her calendar. “Wait a minute! This isn’t… I thought she wasn’t due for another few weeks!?” As she asks this, their son’s wife enters through the front door holding a wrapped up blanket. Parker gasps, turning off the stove and sitting at the table.

“I’d like you guys to meet your first granddaughter,” their son tells them. His mother gasps and begins crying. Parker looks on, teary eyed as his son explains how the baby just wanted to come out a little early, but that there were no complications.

“But why didn’t you let us know? We would have been at the hospital for you!” Parker asks.

“We wanted to surprise you like this,” his son answers.

“Did I miss the big reveal?” calls their daughter from outside. She and her boyfriend enter, hand in hand. “Hey, mom and dad. Good to see you.” She turns to her brother and the baby. “Congrats, big bro.”

“Thanks, little sis.”

Everyone takes turns passing around the baby. “She looks just like you,” the mother points out to her son. “Just like you.” She turns and smiles at Parker.

Parker surveys the scene. His daughter, the spitting image of her mother, and her boyfriend. Who’d have thought she’d end up back with the punk she went on her first date with? His son, daughter-in-law, and their first child. His first grandchild. And finally his wife. They have now been together for thirty-five years. It’s been an incredibly happy thirty-five years. He thinks back on his life. What an incredible life it’s been.

***

Ka-thunk, Ka-thunk, Ka-thunk, Ka-THONK! The subway hit a bump, startling Parker. He looked at the map and saw that he still had a few stops to go before he got off. He turned and looked around the car again.

And there she was.

Still.

Just holding onto the bar. She leaned forward as the train slowed to a stop. The doors opened and she headed for the closest exit. Parker continued to watch her as she weaved in and out of the crowd and in and out of his field of vision. An opening in the crowd allowed him to see her being greeted by some guy. She seemed pretty excited to see him. People continued to walk in front of them, so Parker couldn’t see too clearly what was happening. But as the train pulled away, he saw the guy pull her into a kiss.

Parker sighed and turned back forward, leaning his head on the glass.

It was too easy to drift off on the subway.

Alice and the Queen

              “Alright, Alice, I’ve got the location of the Catepillar, and he’s moving towards you fast. Get going, kid. March hare, out.” The scratchy voice in my ear is dead as quickly as it turned on. I hold my gun closer to my chest and breathe out my nervous energy. Keep your eye on the target and remember to survive. The phrase goes through my head, as it always does when I’m waiting to attack or be attacked.

                “Alice! Get your rear in gear, kid! You don’t have time to day dream today. Catepillar is heading your way with the package. And don’t forget- if you run into the Hatter, shoot him down. He’s the one that leaked our information to the White Rabbit,” March Hare growls, putting me on edge. I love these drills- they get the adrenaline going. I start to move forward, the fallen leaves cushioning some of my steps while announcing others with a crunch. As I approach the drop off point, I conceal myself under a bush and listen for the Catepillar’s heavy foot fall. A few minutes of scanning the ground, and keeping my ears open, I hear the snapping of twigs, my signal686. Two quick snaps followed by a short pause before a single snap. Just to be sure, because I have been tricked before, I scanned between the leaves for the face that matches my team mates. Perfect. I roll out from under the bush and jump up, holding my gun defensively.

                “Alice. Take this and get it to the Cat. She’ll know what to do with it,” He mutters while handing me a small envelope. I take it and secure it in my thigh bag before scanning our surroundings and moving quickly and quietly toward the control tower, careful to avoid fallen branches, above ground roots and crunchy looking leaves. When the tower is within view, I hide behind a bush and wait for the attack I know should be coming.

                “Dodo, I hear something,” Dormouse says in a hushed tone. If it hadn’t been for the arguing, which came in the form of comprehendible words and grunts in disagreement, I wouldn’t have known it was him and Dodo.

                I raise my gun, rustling the bushes a little, and take my aim at Dormouse’s chest before squeezing the trigger. Pop! Pow! Blue paint explodes across Dor’s vest, and he takes a theatrical fall into a heap on the ground. Dodo pulls his gun up to fire but, but he’s too late. Pop! Splat! Just as it had with Dor, blue paint smacked Dodo on his vest, and he simply sat on the ground. I popped up from behind the bush and smiled at them.

                “Come on now, Dodo. That’s no fun at all. At least Mouse had some fun with it!” Dodo simply smiled back at me, while Dormouse kept his eyes shut.

                “Just go about your mission, Alice. I believe you’ve got something for Chesire. Make haste before someone gets you.” Dormouse warned me, stretching out on the grass. I step through the bushes and take off running toward the control tower, my gun held in the low and ready position. Reaching the base, I throw the small cellar door open that leads into the tower and climb up the tiny metal ladder to the top. How Chesire does this every day, I’ll never understand. It’s such a pain. A minute or so later, I hoist myself up onto the floor and look around quickly. The room is almost black, lit only by the large computer monitors in front of me. Sitting in front of the screens and typing away at an incredible speed is the Cat.

                “Cat, I have a package for you from the Catepillar,” I murmur, determined not to break her concentration. These may be mock-missions for the rest of us, but Chesire never stops working on her computers except to eat. Sometimes she doesn’t even sleep for days just to crack something.

                That’s when I hear it- a soft thud across the room. Whipping around, I see Ches tied and gagged, banging her arm against the wall. Spinning back towards the wall of computers, I see the figure rising from Chesire Cat’s chair: Our Red Queen, in the flesh. She raises her gun at me and grins.

                “Hello, my dear. It was simply too kind of you to bring me new information. Now… Off with your head!” She screams, shooting at me. I dive out of the way and return fire, both of us missing each other, running around the room, and having too much fun to be professional for about ten minutes. Chesire Cat has untied herself and we’re all giving each other pointers before I realize I’m on my last paintball. The alarm in my eyes must have been obvious because the Queen starts laughing, taking aim at my chest. Oh, hell no. I raise my own gun and we both fire at the same time. Red stains my vest as blue splatters across hers. Ches is the first to start laughing at our draw and soon the three of us are giggling messes, only stopping when a deep voice rumbles from behind me.

                “Well, Alice, looks like you’ve successfully gotten yourself killed. Glad to see my youngest recruit laughing about her death. Even Alex and Brody take these drills more seriously,” Arthur says, standing at the edge of the exit hole. Arthur is the head of the Society, and deserves to be there. He’s honestly a great guy, but takes his line of work more seriously than anyone could ever. Red comes up beside me and drapes her arm around my shoulders, grinning like crazy.

                “She put up quite a fight, sir. And it was a draw. She took me down as well as I took her down. Hell, this is the first time any of us have gotten to kill the little twerp. Cut her some slack. She’s just a kid, after all.”

                “Just a kid? I am not just a kid. I am a member of this Organization, and no kid can claim that,” I state firmly, a little exasperated by the insult. Arthur’s mouth twitches upward slightly, and it’s obvious he’s suppressing a smile. Ches stands next to us and stretches.

                “Man, Red, you sure know how to tie a person up. My arms are going to be sore for a week,” She yawns, looking ready for a nap. Her code name is perfect, she’s so cat like normally.

                Arthur hands each of us a manila envelope. “Go back to your bunks. Eat, sleep, and be prepared to move out tomorrow. We start tracking the real Queen bright and early.” He turns and just jumps down the hole, leaving the three of us listening for the soft thud of his landing.

                Red scrambles to the hole and yells down, “Are you okay?” A grunt followed by footsteps leaving the door floats up as a reply. The three of us giggle before climbing down the ladder single file. As we walk across out training grounds, I see Dodo texting on his phone (probably his sweetheart, a nurse that works in our hospital) and Dormouse dissembling and packing their guns away. I smile and wave at them, and wait when Mouse motions me to. He walks over and smiles back, patting me on the head.

                “Did you complete the mission?” He asks as we start walking back to our secret entrance.

                “Eh, I managed to get myself killed. But I killed Red at the same time, so I don’t think it was a total loss,” I smile up at him. “Did you and Dodo have to do anything except guard the tower?”

                “Nope, not today. Did our argument tip you off to our location?” He laughs, and then adds, “We’re always being told to be quieter, but it’s hard when your twin brother doesn’t quite have his mind on his work.” He puts a little emphasis on ‘work’ and winks, obviously inferring Dodo had his mind on his girlfriend.

                “Mouse… It doesn’t get easier for him, does it? Isn’t there something we can do? Hell, we’re always making crazy medical advancements! Can’t they repair his throat?”

                “Oh, little Alice, such a curious girl. I’ve been trying. Dodo has been trying. Everyone on the team has been trying to talk Arthur to spare a couple scientists to help my brother. Arthur says it’s not vital to any mission, that Dodo is just as strong a fighter as any of us without his voice. He says it’s not high priority. I say it’s bullshit. I sympathize with him, my brother, I truly do. But he’s got Mia, and she’s great for him. She’s teaching him sign language, did you know that?” Dor’s tone held something close to hope in it. We fall into silence and continue walking. The chilled air cools my heated skin as I think about my team mate.

                 “How did it happen?” I ask again. Dormouse sighs and lowers his eyes to the ground.

                “Maybe I’ll tell you one day. But now is not the time,” he pats my head a bit and I sigh.

                After walking a few minutes in silence, we come across Catepillar, who is sitting under a tree, rubbing his legs and seeming to enjoy the quiet of the evening. In the distance, I heard birds chirp and think about how they’re going to be gone soon. We might be in the tail end of fall, but today was particularly warm and allowed for some really good outdoor training. Dormouse notices our team mate and nudges me, motioning to Catepillar. I smile, and we make our way over to him. He glances up at us quickly, and then looks back down.

                “Get out of here, kid. Go read a book or something. Dormouse, could you hang back and help me?” He mutters, not even bothering to look at me as he insults me. He starts to stand, reaching for Dormouse, but I grab his arm instead and pull him to his feet. He grumbles slightly and glares a bit. “Didn’t I tell you to get out of here?” He growls.

                My blood boils a bit. I can’t believe I’m being insulted by this guy. His personality can just be nerve-grating. “First of all, sir, I’m not a kid. Secondly, I’m just as capable of pulling my weight and more around here as anyone else. So before you go about insulting me, at least have the decency to look me in the eye when you do.” Before he can answer, I turn and march away, not wanting to let him have any word in. Was it childish? Yes. Should I care that much about what he said? No, but I do. I just can’t get past the fact that everyone here thinks I’m not capable of doing what I need to do, even though I got onto the Wonderland Squad before any of the other recruits that I came in with were even completely processed in. I’ve shown that I can handle myself, and that I do it well, but they still discredit me so much. It just hurts my ego.

                Heading back inside, I return my gun, ammo, and vest to the storage room before walking to my room. The Organization is so small that it is actually possible for everyone to have their own room, or live with another person. While I’m currently living in a double, I’m the only one here, because the five other recruits from this lot were males. I’m not complaining, though- I like the solitude. It gives me a chance to escape if I need to. I swing my door open, my anger completely gone, and switch on the lights and some music. I stare at the packet in my hand and bite my lip. Apprehension had been building in my stomach about its contents, but a wave of it just hit. I know what’s in it- I’ve seen these handed out often, and have received a few minor ones myself: It’s my mission. My first real mission. Judging by the weight, I’d say it’s a big one. It’s all a matter of details.

                I know what’s inside before I even open the packet. It’s a mission about the Queen. They’ve had me on so many mock drills these days involving the Wonderland Squad. I’m still confused as to why they picked that particular story to base all this off of, and as to why I had to be their Alice. Red and Aurora, a woman who has been in for 5 years longer than I have, would have worked just as well. They need Chesire Cat for her computer skills, and from what they told me during processing, Alice is needed for front line work and to lead them to victory. I don’t think Arthur really understands what those words still mean to me, even after two years.

                Enough beating around the bush. You know you’re going to have to open it, so just do it now. Nothing is going to soften any blow or any feelings of apprehension, I tell myself while gripping the edge of the envelope. The tearing of the paper rips through the questions and feelings in my mind and causes me to catch my breath, almost dreading what I’m going to see. I’ve been on plenty of missions, and a couple of them were dangerous, but never life threatening dangerous. My team was never in serious peril, just a little snag here or there. But this… This mission will change everything.

                Sitting on my bed, I pour over the papers and soak up every word like it is life itself. Details upon details of instructions wash over my brain. Starting tomorrow, bright and early, I’ll be heading out into the unknown, and fighting for my life. If the stories are true, I could be fighting for my sanity at some point. My brain wanders slowly to some of the darker stories I’ve been told, and about a certain man in particular who could flip the tables faster than I could draw my gun. After reading the instructions twice, I set the papers down and lean against my pillows. The fear in my stomach and brain has started to boil over and decide that right now, being alone isn’t my best option. Getting ghost chills, I get out of bed and grab my jacket and shoes. I wonder what the others are up to.

                As I’m wondering down the halls, getting lost in my head, I vaguely hear my name being called. My feet stop on their own accord and my head snaps around and my eyes land on Aurora. She’s standing in her door way and I spy Ches sitting on her bed.

                “Hey, kid, whatcha doin’ wanderin’ around?” She implores, beckoning me into her room. I grin and follow, welcoming the distraction.

                “Just looking for someone to sit and talk to, I guess. I was going to see if anyone was milling around the dining room, but I guess you two nerds will do,” I joke, dodging as Aurora reaches out to hit my arm.

                “I can’t believe you’d be so rude, kid! And here I was, all set to give ya somethin’ special,” she sits on her bed and crosses her arm, Ches looking bored with our exchange.

                “Jeez, if you two are gonna fight, at least make it interesting,” she huffs, rolling over to face the wall. Aurora rolls her eyes and springs up, bouncing over to her open closet door. She pulls out a black leather jacket and looks at it lovingly before turning back to me.

                “This thing has brought me a lot of luck. I know superstitions are dumb, but I’ve never come back with more than a concussion when I’ve worn this on missions. You’re a good kid, Alice. You’ve got so much potential. And even if it has been just dumb luck for me, well, I hope it brings you the same dumb luck.”

                “I’ll be fine, Aurora. Don’t worry. I’m tough, strong, and I know what I’m doing. Plus, who would want to hurt cute, adorable, innocent me?” I giggle and bat my eyes at her, dying for this somber tension to be broken. There’s going to be enough of that in the days to come, and for now I want to live in a dream. She simply smiles back and shakes her head, before squeezing my shoulder. “Just come back alive, ya hear?”

                “Jeez, Aurora, you never give me heart felt good byes. I thought you were just cold hearted,” Ches purrs, sticking her tongue out at us but I can see the tears starting to collect at the bottom of her eyes. She sits up and pulls herself off the bed, stretching before slinking over to us and pulling us into a tight hug. I jump slightly, since Ches isn’t ever that affectionate with people, but wrap one arm her and the other around Aurora. As we stand, I can hear the sound of her lips moving and an almost inaudible whisper tumbling out of them. Funny, I’ve never known Ches to pray.

                As I leave to go back to my own room, feeling of loneliness and fear start to consume me. I’ve spent my entire life in strange places, always moving, but this feels so much more painful. I’ve found a place that I can truly call home, and I may never see it again. Shaking my head, I resolve to not think about it. You can’t sike yourself out like this, girl. You’ve gotta keep a clear head. To distract myself, I turn on some music and pick up a book, but neither help ease the tension. Sighing, I set my alarm and climb into bed and fall into a surprising peaceful sleep, considering what I’ll be doing in the morning.

                I wake up to my alarm screaming at me. Groaning in detest, I shut it off and sit up, stretching, and let my mind wander to what needs to be done before today.

                I need to get my weapon, and meet everyone for breakfast and all that great stuff. Ugh, I need to shower… I let my brain ramble on as I shower and do my morning routine, all the while thinking when I’ll be back in my room next. Sighing, I throw on some jeans and a black tank top when I hear a knock at my door.

                “Coming,” I shout, before scurrying over and opening the door. Red is standing there, grinning and holding a brown paper bag. “I brought you some luck!” She sings, stepping inside my room and thrusting the bag into my hands. I laugh and open it, pulling out a black gun. I recognize it as one of her favorite gun, the only gun she ever uses, and look up at her quickly.

                “Red, you can’t be serious! This is your-“

                “I know what it is, Alice. They’re… They’re making me sit this one out…” She mutters the last part. She touches the flesh over her heart tenderly, and I frown slightly. She found out last week that a tumor was growing on her lymph nodes. I guess they can’t protect us from everything while we’re here… “It’s brought me a lot of luck on other missions. I want you to take it and use it, so that you’ll have just as much luck. I want you to come back, Alice. And I want you to take that gun and shoot the Bloody Red Queen right in the heart for all she’s done.” Her words hang heavy between us for a minute, the seriousness of this mission mounting. Suddenly, she pulls me into a hug, mumbles something about breakfast and leaves.

                Staring at the door and staring down at the heavy gun in my hand, disbelief wraps around my mind, followed by more reality. Breathing out slowly, I pull Aurora’s jacket on and fish out some sturdy boots before throwing my hair up in a ponytail. I strap Red’s gun into a holster at my hip and grab my backpack, throwing it over my shoulders before taking one last look around my room and heading out the door. I make my way slowly to the dining hall, staring at the ground while my mind gets lost in thoughts of what’s to come. Suddenly, I knock into something. No, not something. This was someone. I look up, an apology already forming on my lips when I get a good look at this someone’s features. Grey hair, bright blue eyes, and a smile that doesn’t seem to hold the most sanity within it.

                “H-Hatter… What are you doing here? March Hare… MARCH HARE!” I start screaming for help when the Hatter shoves me to the wall, clamping his hand over my mouth. I feel the width of a cold knife press against my neck and force myself to calm down so I don’t get sliced open. The calm, sadistic look in his eyes lets me know he’s not afraid to use it, but also something else. It almost looked like regret. It seems that he doesn’t want to be doing this.

                “Hello, Alice, dear. How have you been? I’ve been quite mad myself,” He chuckles at his own joke, but quickly turns serious again. “Now, I’m going to tell you something, and this is the only way I would be able to tell you. Be careful out there. You have no idea who the Red Queen really is, or what she’s capable, but I do. Just be careful. Now, I’m going to take my hand away. Do not scream, or yell, or shout, or anything to attract more attention than needs to be. We both know they’ve got those cameras on us, and they’ve probably already dispatched someone. Just make sure you know wrong from right when you get out there. Good luck, Alice.” With that, he pulls his blade away, just as a familiar footfall comes running around the corner.

                “Let her go!” I hear Catepillar shout. I look over at him before Hatter drops his knife and runs off down the hallway. I look after him, confused by his words, and jump slightly when Catepillar puts his hand on my shoulder.

                “Are you okay? He didn’t actually hurt you, did he?” He asks, checking my neck.

                “Yeah, I’m fine. He just… he just scared me a bit…” I mumble as I pick up the knife. The knife has an eccentric looking hat carved into the handle, and the blade is an iridescent purple. I fold it up, stick it in the pocket of Aurora’s jacket, and look back at Catepillar, and frown at the look he’s giving me. “What?” I ask.

                “You’re going to keep it?” He asks skeptically, and then holds his hand out like he’s expecting me to comply and hand it over. I shake my head slightly, furrowing my brow.

                “Yes, I’m keeping it. Catepillar… Mad Hatter told me something…”

                “Told you what?”

                I pause for a moment, mulling over what just happened. “He told me to be safe out there. Look, we need to get going. Let’s go get breakfast,” I mumble, heading back down the hallway. Catepillar follows close behind me, and I can feel him watching me. I sigh inwardly and push the door open to the dining hall. Sitting next to Red, March Hare gives us a briefing about the mission itself: where we’ll be, what each of our individual goals are, and who the target is this time. I give Catepillar a look that says are you going to tell them? He shakes his head slightly before turning back to his plate. March Hare asks me if I read my packet.

                “Of course I read it. My specific targets are the Dodo and the Lizard,” I inform him as he hands me our most recent pictures of them. I study their faces, taking everything in, wishing I had voices to match. I prefer to go off voices instead of faces, because you don’t have to worry about being able to see someone if you’re hiding.

                March Hare finishes our briefing, and we all go to leave the dining hall and I check my backpack one last time, and realize I’m missing something. Racing back to my room, I open the door, throw the door to my closet open, and pull out two black boxes. One contains my favorite gun, the hand gun I was issued when I got here, and the other contains plenty of bullets for it. I load as many as I can into the three magazines I have, then put the rest back and make sure the safety is on before tucking it into my second holster and running back to the dining hall to pack up the last of my things.

                March Hare leads us out the of the Organization’s main building and to our aviation area. Dormouse and Dodo are surprisingly quiet, as is Chesire Cat. She’d usually be cracking jokes about the Bloody Red Queen. As for Catepillar, well, he was always quiet. We board a helicopter and once we’re all harnessed in, it takes off. It’s the quietest thing to fly in the air since a kite. As we get further and further away from my home, my sanctuary, the anxiety starts to set in- badly. This is my first real mission. It’s got real guns and real pain and no do-over’s or anyone telling me how I could do something better the next time around. Oh, god, what if I get separated? If I get separated, I’ll be on my own. Can I do this? Should they trust me this much? I guess Dor can see the tension and fear in my eyes because he leans closer to me from across the aisle.

                “Hey, Alice. Look at me. You’re going to be fine. There’s no one in the world that can kick a better ass than you,” he reassured me with a smile and I manage a weak smile back. I lean my head against the back of my seat and close my eyes, trying to meditate like Red had taught me. An indefinite amount of time passes and I’m pulled back into the situation at hand when the helicopter suddenly jerks. I snap my eyes open and look at the rest of the Wonderland Squad. They all looked panicked and that’s the only thing I need to see to know we were going off plan.

                The helicopter jerks again and I scramble to unhook myself from my seat as Ches tosses parachutes to everyone. I stand shakily and catch my parachute, almost dropping it. Great, of course my first trip in the helicopter is the time it gets ambushed. I strap into it with shaking fingers and feel the helicopter start to tilt.

                “She’s going down!” Dor screams, prying the door open. Ches grabs his hand and they both jump at the same time. Dodo follows behind shortly after and I look over the edge, seeing their parachutes deploy. We’re falling faster and faster and I feel like I’m barreling down a hole made of metal and air. I look at Catepillar and he grabs my hand, nodding his head.

                “Pull this cord when I do, alright?” He shouts over the wind, pointing at a specific cord. I nod and take a deep breath. “One, two, three!” He jumps and pulls me with him. As we fall, I look for the others and see their parachutes are stuck in trees.

                “Alice, pull your cord,” Catepillar shouted over the wind, reaching for his own cord. I pull mine a few seconds after he does and my body jerks, the parachute catching in the wind and slowing our descent to the unknown. The closer we get to the ground, the louder the shouts for reinforcements become. Catepillar let’s go of my hand and we drift apart. I land in the top of a tree and secure my footing on a branch before detaching myself from the parachute. After looking down through the branches to see if there was anyone directly under me ready to shoot, I shimmy down a few branches before stopping to listen. I can still hear shouting, but it’s a ways off. Probably in the direction of Dormouse, Dodo and Chesire Cat. When I decide it’s safe enough to finish climbing down, I feel for the Mad Hatter’s knife and finish climbing down. I quickly hide under a grouping of bushes once I hit the ground and recall details about Dodo and Lizard. Dodo is good at quick attacks and hand to hand combat, but Lizard is a genius with traps.

                I look to my left and see a tree branch sitting on the ground, I reach for it before recoiling my hand. Hmm… what if it didn’t just fall off the tree? What if it was put there as a trap? I pull out the Hatter’s knife and throw it at the branch, retreating further into the bush. After a few minutes of nothing happening, I slide out as quietly as possible and grab the branch, using it as a guide against any traps. I put the knife back in my pocket and pick the direction I think the helicopter was headed, beginning my walk into the unknown.

                Suddenly, I hear a branch snap and quickly fall to the ground with a quiet thud, rolling under more bushes. They’re so wildly overgrown that they concealed me well.

                “Hey, I hear something,” a rugged voice whispers loudly. I wonder briefly which one of the Red Queen’s henchmen it was before trying to peak at him through the leaves. His face looked as rugged as his voice and was covered in scars with one very long, very jagged one running across his forehead. That must be Dodo. Looks just like his picture.

                “I didn’t hear anything. You’re getting a little old to be doing this. Are you sure your hearing isn’t going bad?” Another voice replies, coming into my view. The voice is younger, and so is the face. He’s taller and leaner than Dodo. I’m going to assume this is Lizard. As slowly and quietly as I can, I reach for my gun, clicking the safety off.

                “You idiot! I’ve been fighting for the Queen much longer than you have. I don’t even know why I got stuck with a conceited idiot like you,” Dodo growls. I peek under the bush and see they had walked a few paces ahead of me while I was getting my gun, but are facing each other, fighting. I see my opportunity to attack and roll out from under the bush, jump up and aim for Dodo’s chest and, if all goes as I expect, Lizard’s chest. I pull the trigger and crack! Riiiip! The bullet tears out of my gun and flies into Dodo’s back before forcing its way out of his chest and right into Lizard’s. Blood is pouring everywhere and I shoot again, making sure they’re dead. I feel myself start to gag as the coppery smell hits my nose and I take off running, fearing someone will be there soon to recover the bodies and track me down. I’m getting farther away, adrenaline keeping my legs pumping when I’m suddenly slammed into a tree. I cry out in pain and slide to the ground, unable to force my body to get up. A hand grabs me by the pony tail and jerks my head up so I’m staring into two bright blue eyes.

                “Ah, hello again, Alice. I see you’ve decided to not take my advice and have been quite careless,” the Mad Hatter purrs as he yanks at my pony tail, making me yelp. “I guess you’re lucky that it’s me that found you and not another guard. Even luckier, I’m going to let you go as soon as you return what is mine.” I reach into my pocket and pull out his knife, shoving it into his open hand. He drops me as soon as I bring my hand back to my side and smiles that not-all-there smile again. “It was good chatting with you, Alice. But I suggest you head out, now. Her guards are coming, you know.” With that, he took out another marble and threw it to the ground, disappearing in another cloud of smoke.

                “Where the hell did they drop us off at? And where the hell are my team mates?” I mutter, standing and taking off into another sprint. I hope I can find them before someone else does.